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I feel Derrick Rose’s pain, though it seems he’s fine and will play Tuesday with 10 stitches from inadvertently flopping onto a knife he said he’d had in his bed he was using to cut an apple. Of course, this is one problem Eddy Curry never had as you rarely suffer injuries eating Twinkies.

That was hard to resist, though I feel for Eddy as the Knicks are at the United Center Tuesday to play the Bulls and Eddy is out now at least until after the new year and perhaps all season with the complications from a knee injury and not having been able to play or work out this season.

“He can’t get over the soreness in his knee,” Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni said in a telephone interview. “It’s a Catch-22. He has to work out hard to get on the floor, but the knee won’t allow that. It’s more like treading water. As soon as the knee gets well, we’ll get him on the floor. We need his bulk and height. Physically, he needs the work, to get up and down the court hard, but he’s not able to run.”

I can recall plenty of $#^*&^%$# moments of my own trying to open a can or cut fruit and blood gushing everywhere and wondering why, I, too didn’t go for the soft chocolate with the cream center.

“It was unfortunate,” said Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro. “But we’re happy it wasn’t more serious. He should play (Tuesday). We’ll see how he is. We’re happy it wasn’t worse. It was a real sharp knife and it just filleted him. He’ll get the stitches out in about 10 days, so it should be tender. But he’ll be fine.”

Anyway, since it seems Rose is going to be OK, it’s a good time, especially in the wake of this and NFL Giants’ player Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg to consider some of the most embarrassing moments for the greatest athletes in the world, America’s dumbest injuries.

There seemed to be more in baseball than any other of the major sports, and I can understand why. I remember former player and now ESPN broadcaster John Kruk saying famously one time: “We’re not athletes. We’re baseball players.”

There was Monta Ellis’ moped accident this summer, Vladimir Radmanovic snowboarding and hurt last All Star break and the Collins twins in Minnesota and Utah now, both injured, Jarron more seriously and still out, when the golf cart he was driving with his twin this summer flipped over. Of course, there was Jay Williams’ horrific motorcycle accident, though one that goes down in NBA annals is Lionel Simmons, playing for Sacramento, going out for some time with wrist problems from playing video games too much.

The Bulls Drew Gooden when he was with the Cavs had his streak of 83 straight games broken by infected leg hair follicles. Kareem Abdul Jabbar once ruined a Bucks season punching out a basket stanchion. Then in Seattle Moochie Norris didn’t play because he said he had insomnia and there was Cedric Ceballos, upset about something, leaving the team and saying he got stuck boating and missed the game.

The Cubs have had more than their share. There was Sammy Sosa’s famous sneeze that injured his back. Kerry Wood, who had enough arm problems, was hurt getting out of a hot tub. There was Glenallen Hill, then with Toronto, who was famous for his fear of spiders, arachnophobia, and injured when he had a severe nightmare and got up and cut himself on a glass table.

One of the best was John Smoltz, sustaining burns when he ironed his shirt—while he still was wearing it.

I felt, also, for pitcher Adam Eaton who sustained severe cuts trying to open a DVD package. Hands up. Who hasn’t done that on those ridiculous plastic seal wrappers?

I seem to recall Cubs outfielder Henry Cotto puncturing his eardrum when he was bumped by a teammate while cleaning his ears with a Q-tip. I can’t recall the manager, maybe Don Zimmer, raging about they had trainers to clean players’ ears.

There was Jose Cardenal taking off when he said his eyelids were stuck and Cubs reliever Mike Remlinger breaking his finger when it got caught between two reclining chairs. Moises Alou fell off a treadmill.

Wade Boggs hurt his back pulling on a pair of cowboy boots. The Mets’ Bob Ojeda suffered a serious injury gardening and how bad was it to be in the Cleveland clubhouse when pitcher Chuck Finley came in with injuries after apparently being attacked by his wife. In baseball they always talk about Marty Cordova, then with Baltimore, getting overcooked in a California tanning salon and Joel Zumaya of the Tigers with elbow problems from playing the game Guitar Hero too much.

Dick Allen once sustained serious hand injuries apparently pushing a car uphill and his hand supposedly went through the headlights. Pitcher Kevin Brown was hurt wrestling with his son as there have been loads of guys hurt wrestling in the clubhouse injuries over the years. The Rangers’ Oddibe McDowell cut his hand on a dinner knife. The Cubs Felix Pie—ouch—had a twisted testicle.

Milton Bradley had several, the latest while being held back by his manager and mangling his knee.

There was the famous Vince Coleman injury being caught by the tarp and some good ones in the NFL with Bill Gramatica tearing his ACL celebrating after a game winning kick and Brian Griese supposedly tripping over his dog. At least that’s what he said.

So relax Derrick, and have a little laugh. You’re hardly the first.

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